Best Thing To Say To Women
Many guys don't know what to say to women. I'd say that this is one of the biggest problems that guys THINK they have...
(And I'll explain later why it's only what they THINK)
It's funny - women don't understand this. They tend to think it's absurd that a guy would be stumped as to what to say. In fact, when I tell women that guys get nervous approaching them, THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME!
Let me ask you a question. Do you think about what to say when you're with friends? Here's another question - do you have trouble making conversation with people that don't have anything you want? Think hard...do you ever get nervous when you are talking to someone that doesn't matter to you?
I think this is the real issue. As soon as you want something from someone, you get nervous, and this leads to getting "stumped." It's a weird problem I think society is partially to blame. You see, most guys think that a woman's sex is more valuable than his sex. This is based on two myths.
Myth number 1:
Women are less horny than men.
I know this to be a complete illusion, and yet women play into it (until you get them into bed ;)
Myth number 2:
The way to make a woman want to sleep with you is to say the right things in conversation.
I remember reading Voltaire in my high school English class. He had this famous quote - something along the lines of: "if I can talk away my ugly face, I can sleep with any woman in the world" or something to that effect.
YOU'RE NOT VOLTAIRE.
Voltaire was the exception - in fact, it's so extremely rare that a guy has the ability to say JUST THE RIGHT THING to make a woman feel attracted to him. Usually it's something else. Which begs the question
‘How do regular guys get laid?’
We all know there are certain guys who are just like any regular joe, except they sleep with tons of women.
What are they doing?
In my experience, attraction is about something beyond words. So what’s more attractive than clever words?
Well let me ask you this:
CAN YOU TALK A WOMAN INTO HAVING AN ORGASM?
Let me put it another way. Can you create the 'feeling sex gives her' JUST BY TALKING? No, of course not. Only actual sex can do that. So maybe words aren't as important as men think. We spend a TON of time fixing what are called "non-verbal cues." So much is communicated non-verbally in social situations, for example, your voice tone, eye contact, rate of breath, body posture. But there are other, even MORE SUBTLE non-verbal cues - stuff that women are hard-wired to detect. For example, whatever you are saying, a woman will be noticing the following:
'Does He Hesitate Before He Speaks?'
'Is He Comfortable With What He Says?'
'Does He Have a Purpose - Does He Know What He Wants?'
Women need to feel like you have a purpose, and that you are personally comfortable with that purpose. Women always say, "I like a man who knows what he wants," and "I like a man who's confident, and comfortable with who he is." If you are trying to say the right thing, you'll almost always fail for a couple reasons.
First, you have no clue what specifically impresses her or what she likes. You just met this girl - how do you expect to know exactly what will make her laugh or feel impressed?
Second, a woman can tell if you are trying to impress her, and this is the fastest way to lower your value in her eyes - this is an INSTANT KILLER OF ATTRACTION.
Instead, know what you like - it's more attractive. If she sees that you don't like what you are about, SHE won't like it - you look like a shoplifter (only instead of clothes, you are trying to "get laid.") One thing I recall hearing my instructor, Brian, talk about a lot is shifting your intention with women from trying to "get sex" to "offering pleasure." It's a subtle shift, but I can attest to the power in this kind of intention.
Now we all know there are times when you happen to say the right thing, and you "get lucky." Well, that's "getting lucky," and that's not what we're about. I teach guys to TAKE CONTROL of their dating lives, and not have to rely on occasional luck. But there's a balance. You see, when I first realized I could CONSCIOUSLY IMPROVE MY RESULTS with women, I started planning all my interactions - I'd have openers and routines ready and memorized.
But it rarely worked!
Here's why - the stuff I prepared before hand was never totally appropriate or "calibrated" when it came out of my mouth. I learned the hard way... YOU CAN'T PLAN AN INTERACTION.
Now there were a couple times when my routines went over without too much awkwardness, but even then, it didn't feel worth the effort I put in to plan them out. And to top it all off, women seemed to be entertained by me, but they certainly weren't ATTRACTED. I knew things had to be easier. But it took a lot of failure to realize where I was going wrong.
After a long time, I realized I had a persona - a social mask I was wearing to protect my ego. You see, I'm extremely self-aware and I had some amazing mentors.
But it still took years to cut out all the subtle ways I was trying to say or do the "right thing" in order to impress women. If you could hear me talk to women now, it sounds like I'm talking out of my ass (not literally of course). What I mean is, I have zero concern with what I'm about to say, and guess what?
WOMEN LOVE IT.
Women laugh at whatever I say, touch me A LOT, and want to sleep with me very fast. All because I just sit there and act like a retard. And I know you've seen that guy - he's a complete douche, acts like a moron, doesn't care what he says or what people think, and women LOVE HIM.
But you know what? I'm sick of seeing intelligent guys treated like second class men. I'm sick of seeing morons get all the women. And I'm sick of guys like you NOT HAVING FUN with women. It's your god-given right to enjoy women. It shouldn't be work - if it's hard, you're doing something wrong...
But I don't think it's your fault.
Society lies to us men. We are taught to be extra "nice" and to try to impress women, because women are on a pedestal - they are "better" than us men. It's just not true. So you shouldn't try to say the right thing.
But what should you do?
Well there definitely are ways to open with simple stuff like "hey," but this will require you to have great non-verbal cues, which can take years to develop and fine-tune. There are ways to open powerfully with optimal verbalization - something we call "punchy questions." You see, the best openers are not complex, but really simple. Sometimes just phrasing something differently, with intrigue can create a pull right off the bat. But the key is to convey that you are not trying to impress her - you are being yourself and including her in your fun life.
No matter what kind of opener you use, you must keep a powerful focus, that of a high-value, dominant man. The Pandoras Box system is designed to instill this in you as you learn it. It's like a 'bootcamp in a book', and can take your game to the next level, regardless of where you're at right now.
Check it out here