How To NOT Let A Woman Slip Through Your Fingers

There's nothing on earth like the pleasure of being able to totally go wild with a woman you are crazy about, and yet this fantastic feeling is made so insanely HARD to achieve by the horrific advice being given out there.

Let me DESTROY right NOW a piece of bad advice that is spread like wildfire by "experts" including the "seduction experts", and tell you the RIGHT thing to do so you don't let a fantastic woman slip through your fingers the next time you get a chance with a great woman.

The MISTAKE that most guys make is that they confuse NEEDINESS with FREQUENCY. They are told that they should not behave needy, and that the way to show they are not needy is to act like this insanely "hard-to-get" type of guy.  Supposedly, this makes you the "prize."    

In real life, however, you MUST be in more frequent contact with a woman you just met or you will never build up enough steam to get anywhere.  This is how most guys end up letting a fantastic quality woman slip right through their fingers, all the while thinking that somehow the WOMAN was "stuck up" for not chasing HIM.

Think of it like an "attraction energy THRESHOLD" in her that you must REACH for her to want to actually CHASE YOU AS WELL.

At this point, she will ALSO work to try to reach and surpass this threshold in you, you just have to understand that as a man you have to make the FIRST moves.

It takes more GUTS to make the first moves, and it's part of being a man.

And when you ARE in contact and you speak with her and you do things the RIGHT way, you actually build MORE AND MORE attraction each time!

This is especially true with a quality woman, a woman who is beautiful inside and out and who is looking to truly GIVE emotionally of herself.  There is no way on earth she is going to do all this for NOTHING, she is not some stupid creature without self-esteem, and you shouldn't even want a woman who has no self-esteem and who is silly enough to be good to any guy who does NOTHING to earn it from her.

The key is that when you are calling a woman you met, or when you are meeting in person, that you are actually a COOL person to be with, and that you and her are having a great dynamic where you are both letting the right vibes flow, including the sexual vibes, and you are also both talking about things that are interesting and meaningful and she is doing the same - this results in greater and greater PULL towards each other.

The pick up artist advice tries to boil everything down to a one-size-fits-all formula that simply does NOT work in real life.  They are obsessed with the FEAR that anything you do for her is some form of CHASING her, and that if you are doing this, you are showing too much interest and that you are therefore showing that you are NEEDY, etc.

But the TRUTH is that neediness has NOTHING to do with the frequency of contact you have with a woman.

A recent trail of letters shows EXACTLY how this goes down exactly as I say, in REAL LIFE:


I have a question to this regard: I was suggested by a mutual friend to get in touch with a certain young lady. I got her email and over the course of a couple of days we exchanged several messages (using many of your advices) and some pictures.

Within a week we were "Facebook" friends and that same day she gave me her number and suggested I could call her whenever I felt like it.

I did so the next day and we spent two and a half hours (2,5!) talking on Skype. It's an understatement that this initial blind date is going very well.

She is not only gorgeous, but also incredibly smart (she studied 12 years to become a specialized Medical Doctor) and she does not have the "arrogant" aura around her. From first impressions a quality lady thus.

Now my question is, thanks to your 2 e-books and the CDs, I have incredibly improved my self-esteem and the playful way I interact with women. But I think it is still human that I now think about her a lot and would want to see her again ASAP.

I know you talk a lot about not being needy, but at the same time enjoying good feelings and being yourself. So how do you keep the balance? On the one hand not overdoing things, but on the other hand "keeping her interested" (through text messages or short emails) till we see each other in person in 10 days (both very busy agendas)?

Thank you already in advance for your reply if you have the time!


Brent T., California


Awesome accomplishment with this fantastic lady! Definitely, do NOT go overboard on the teasing, in fact, keep the teasing to a minimum, use it only once in a while and make it funny when you do it, and never in a malicious way. Remember my rule in the Dating Wizard book (under the section of communicating with a woman) of never saying a tease that she could possibly interpret as actually being something REAL.  i.e. If she is brilliant, then teasing her on her smarts is something she knows is not REAL, it's just a joke, and that's fine.

Instead of teasing a lot, just focus on having INTERESTING conversations with her, hopefully about things you BOTH are interested in.  She sounds like a quality woman, and the last thing she needs is another "pick up artist" style approach.  And you will NEVER sound needy if your voice tone (as explained in my Get A Great Girl book in the section on "The Connection Between Voice And State") shows confidence and good vibes, you can definitely like a girl without being NEEDY for her.

Follow the strategies explained inside, and keep it fun and meaningful for both of you, and it will all work out AWESOME!

Another follow-up point: I re-read parts of your book this morning again, and an additional answer to my question is the "Neediness vs. Frequency" misconception you talk about.

I thought since we're only going to see each other in 10 days, that I should 'be silent' the next seven days for not appearing needy towards her. But that is not the point at all! Yesterday we spoke again for more than an hour on Skype, and she sent me a great text message today.

As you very clearly say: If you make a woman feel comfortable with you while being confident, playful, sensual, etcetera, every time you have a great interaction with her, the experience becomes better and she gets more attracted!

So thanks again man!!!


Yes, this makes TOTAL sense.  In fact, the better quality a woman is, the more time you NEED to spend in advance before making an actual date.

This is because a quality woman is not going to WASTE her time traveling to meet every guy that WANTS to talk to her, contrary to the experts who suggest you should just tell a woman after a few MINUTES of conversation to "meet up in person".

Her time is PRECIOUS, as should YOUR time be as well, because time is precious.  So you should be SCREENING the people you meet and spend time with when you are dating, otherwise you will waste FOREVER meeting INFINITE wrong women and this will drain your enthusiasm, energy, and time and probably cause you to sabotage things that special time you DO meet a great woman.

So you have to BUILD THE FOUNDATION of trust and connection and of course attraction, before she will meet.  All this of course does not apply when you are meeting women who sleep with any guy or who are into extremely casual dating, but if you want to get QUALITY, you have to set up the FOUNDATION properly.

This also leads me to my next point: There is a lot more to getting a great woman than the first 30 seconds or thirty minutes of the actual approach, because there is a whole skill of DETECTING a great woman in the first place.

It's not enough to become a 'pick up artist', because it doesn't solve the problem of how to know if a woman is a quality woman or not without wasting TONS of time figuring it out the HARD way.

Yet, if you don't know if a woman is a quality person inside and out, you can not only waste YEARS of your life, but the wrong woman will DESTROY you, and she will do it faster than anything else on EARTH.

I have spent the last ten years of my life focused not just on "pick up" (which I mastered and had countless journalists follow my coaching work with hundreds of men) but more importantly, on being able to QUICKLY DETECT INNER QUALITY IN A WOMAN.

It's taken many years to figure this out at an almost INSTINCTIVE level, and I want to share this knowledge with you.

For example, it's not enough that a woman seems "nice" to you.  If this woman gets BORED easily or feels that her life is lacking, you may simply be the latest NOVELTY in her life to distract her from her own problems.  She has temporarily achieved a new identity in you, and this allows her to escape the low self-esteem of her real identity, but it is only a matter of time till the effect of your novelty wears off, and then she will be on to looking for her NEXT distraction.

So you want to be looking for a woman who has a history of being able to STICK to something  that requires SERIOUS LONG TERM COMMITMENT, and a woman who is high self esteem and seems to be content in life, happy in general.   A woman who has found meaning her life besides just DISTRACTIONS and partying, drugs, or superficial forms of sex.

You want a woman who is PASSIONATE about her life, who finds GLORY in the little DETAILS of life, like the sun rising in the morning, like playing with you and having a good time being ALIVE.  You want a woman who has learned the meaning of APPRECIATION and of the meaning of GRACE and INTEGRITY and most of all,  strength under PRESSURE.

You want a woman who can find peace and contentment from understanding the power of PERSPECTIVE.

And yes, being GOOD to you counts a lot as well, and by being good to you, I mean that she SEEKS opportunities to validate YOU, out of KINDNESS.  Studies show that couples that are shown to GIVE VALIDATION as opposed to criticism of each other, at a rate of 5 to 1, are 90% likely to STILL BE TOGETHER even FIFTEEN YEARS after they meet!

Of course, YOU need to do this work on yourself as well, which is part of mastery in this arena of your life.

Meanwhile, the "pick up artist" mentality teaches you to develop the most DESTRUCTIVE elements of human behavior, and teaches you to also IGNORE all the red flags of the WRONG behaviors with a woman, and to just KEEP PROGRESSING THINGS TOWARD THE PHYSICAL, as if all issues are solved once you get to bed with a woman.  This is ludicrous advice, but it gets spread by "experts" like wildfire, and MILLIONS (yes, millions, LITERALLY) of men believe this advice and they end up getting screwed, but not in a good way.

It's been my life's passion to not just help men meet women, but to help men meet the RIGHT woman, the woman that they truly love inside and out.

To get your FOUNDATION on everything from how to approach and attract quality women, to how to detect a woman's character, to how to know if she is interested in you, to how to KEEP her attracted, I suggest you download my book, 'Get A Great Girl" IMMEDIATELY, at:

Get A Great Girl

And I'll see you again here soon.

From someone who's been there,


Ask Her These 3 Questions... And You'll Get Her, Every Time!