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The Way To A Great Woman

One of the most bizarre things to me is how when you are in the dark, getting a woman of true quality seems almost IMPOSSIBLE, and then once you understand what it takes, it seems so obvious.

I'm talking about getting the kind of happiness and the kind of woman you really want.  Getting a woman of true quality, and getting the quality of life and relationship with her that you want, is a very different thing than getting a lot of low self-esteem women that are addicted to nightclubs.

What a great woman wants is a man of INTERNAL STRENGTH, and this strength means that although you are not naïve or ignorant and not the kind of guy who can be taken advantage of, you are ALSO not the kind of guy who is so scared of getting hurt that he CLOSES HIMSELF OFF from giving emotionally and from being a HAPPY person as well.

A lot of us, after having been BURNED, think that we are being STRONG if we are NOT good to a woman, if we are NOT open to being GIVING, and if we learn a lot of "tactics" to "keep all the power" and "control" a woman.

And THIS is what leads to the infinite variety of supposed "dating experts" be they men or women who create "rules" on what to do with a woman or with a man--and all these rules are the product of FEAR.

Every man and every woman out there has been "burned" by someone.  But only the GREAT men and women can rise ABOVE it and STILL find the STRENGTH to give ANOTHER person a chance.

This does NOT mean to be naïve, or to allow yourself to get taken advantage of.

It means giving someone a CHANCE.

So if you have been burned by a woman in the past, you have to still give ANOTHER woman a chance- a FULL chance.  That means truly UNLEASHING all the awesome parts of your personality and not being so serious all the time.

This is the PROPER measure of what it means to be playful.

Too many guys end up learning how to be cocky and distort that into a tool to be MEAN to a woman, all because of FEAR- fear that unless WE act like big shots and that unless WE play "games" that a woman will then play games on us FIRST.

All this is FEAR BASED thinking.

Too many guys think that being the "Man" and being "tough" means that after being burned or hurt, that being strong means being a "player" or means being "looking tough and mean" or getting into fights with a woman or suspecting her of things all the time, when in reality all this shows is FEAR.

Think about it- if a man does NOT fear that he will be hurt by a woman, if he does NOT fear what people will think if a woman rejects him, if he is NOT afraid of all those things, then he will be MUCH MORE UPBEAT in his demeanor.

Now, I'm not saying to walk around with some crazy grin on your face, but most men (and to be honest, most women as well) allow FEAR to DEADEN their positive emotions and they think they can protect themselves by being more nasty and mean to everyone.

So what you must be is a COMBINATION of street-smart and not naïve, and ALSO be open to the very true REALITY that there ARE women of fantastic integrity, demeanor, and overall "goodness" out there.

And these special, rare women have been through all the SAME pain that you have, and they are STILL willing and able to give from their hearts, but they are NOT fools and will sniff out a "player" or a man who is controlled by his FEARS, and they will RUN LIKE HELL from such a man.

So how do you get OVER all these fears? The first thing is to realize that whether the fear is the fear of approaching a woman you want to talk to, or whether the fear is the fear of what will happen if go for a kiss, or whether the fear is "what will she say if I tell her the truth about who I am" or the fear is "what if she rejects me based on my age, job, looks" or ANY other fear, the KEY thing to realize is this:

THE FEAR IS YOUR FEAR, NOT HERS.

What I mean by this, is that you OWN your own emotions, and you can CONTROL them.

The FEAR is the worst part of it all. It's not the woman actually rejecting you. It's not the woman not kissing you.

It's not ANY of that stuff. You could live with all that stuff, believe me.

But what you must NOT live with, is being controlled by FEAR.

I remember when the whole idea of just APPROACHING a woman was enough to make my heart want to BURST from my chest.

And then, once I started doing it, I got ADDICTED to it- not because of what the woman would say, but because of the RELIEF that I was no longer a slave to my own FEAR!!!!

I felt like I was FLYING.

I felt so FREE.

And guess what? This LIBERATION FROM FEAR is what ALSO unleashed me from OTHER fears, and that TURBO-CHARGED my interaction, it UNLEASHED all sorts of cool elements of my personality.

It made me FUNNIER, WITTIER, MORE INTERESTING, more CHARISMATIC.

You can learn to do this too, I promise you.

And learning to approach women, as cool as it is, is just ONE fear that needs to be conquered.

There are many guys who learn to get over that fear, but still fear true INTIMACY with a woman, so they become players and never get liberated from this fear of rejection- and again, the bigger problem is not that that they don't get to have a real relationship.  Yes, that's a shame, but that's nothing compared to living a life that is so SCARED of what a woman could do to him.

The FEAR is the problem itself, much more than the actual thing that we think we are afraid OF.

So let me state one thing clearly: NO LIFE OF FEAR IS WORTH LIVING. Whatever you are living in fear of, you are better off FACING that fear even if means that you get rejected, or that you don't get the kiss, or that the woman turns out to NOT be "the one".

All that stuff, believe it or not, is NOTHING compared to being a SLAVE to that fear for LIFE.

And the great irony is that once you LET GO of that fear, of ALL fears, you actually get a chance to see who you REALLY are- the you WITHOUT fear that is so much cooler, so much more charismatic, so much more DESIRABLE, so much wittier, so much more CALM, and so much more RADIANT.

Now, for the HOW to get rid of those fears, ultimately you have to confront them all,  but sometimes we can't physically confront every fear because the fear is hard to actually create in reality, and sometimes because it just seems too much to do.

So then, in those cases, (and actually, this is useful to do in all cases anyway) we have to actually VISUALIZE the very thing we FEAR, and then slowly STRIP the FEARFUL emotions we ASSOCIATE with that thing, one by one.

So let's say for example, that a man fears being REJECTED by a woman when he          attempts to kiss her.

And this fear is stopping him from ever getting close with a woman.

So he should actually sit back in the comfort and privacy of his own room, and visualize himself kissing the woman, and then staying CALM even as she doesn't reciprocate the kiss.  Then, he can go to the next level and JOKE TO HIMSELF that this is FUNNY.

Because the truth is, it's all relative. I mean, imagine you had just escaped from a death camp, and then you found some woman who was attractive, went to kiss her, and she didn't kiss you back.

Wouldn't you be laughing that THESE were now you greatest problems?

Here's something else: Actually CHANGING your physiology (physiology mean the way you are standing, sitting, the expressions on your face, the way you are breathing, the way you are using your own voice) will change the way you feel, and will strip the fear away.

So what I mean by this is to actually change the expression you are having in your visualization of yourself in this situation.  So if you are visualizing this situation and in your visualization you have a fearful expression on your face, then CHANGE that expression.

Then, on top of that, actually change the expression you have on yourself for real.  Yes, actually CHANGE your expression even if you don't FEEL like it.

The gut instinct is to say "why should I do jumping jacks when I feel BAD?" and the answer is that this is ESPECIALLY the reason to them- because by doing this you will change the way you feel.

You will destroy the fear.

Sure, I could give you the pep talk and tell you the facts that 99% of the fears that men have when it comes to dating are unfounded or at least MASSIVELY EXAGGERATED in their own minds, and that things go far better than you probably realize.

But that's not the point of this article - the point is what really makes a man a MAN.

And what makes a man a MAN is being the MAN even in the face of things NOT going PERFECTLY.  It's about learning not how to constantly avoid any fear, it's about learning how to EMBRACE that fear and VAPORIZE those fears into NOTHINGNESS- yes THIS is what it means to be the MAN.

And again, life is full of IRONY, because this attitude is what actually gets you the strongest RESULTS with women- and I mean the very BEST of women- the kind that are true GEMS.   They can SENSE great character in a man because they THEMSELVES have it as well.

It takes one to know one, as they say, except this is in a POSITIVE sense

Most guys are obsessed with learning ways to avoid rejection, and this is natural.  However, it's not the way of the MAN.  Focusing on how to avoid rejection actually FUELS rejection, because it WEAKENS your character, it nurtures and allows FEAR to dwell and thrive in your deepest consciousness.

So next time you see a woman you want to approach, and you fear approaching her, take that as a sign that this your OPPORTUNITY to grow into the man you REALLY are- the man without fear - by actually giving her a chance to LOVE YOU or to REJECT YOU.   What she decides is HER business, not yours.  YOUR business is growing into the MAN you were born to be.

And so, this is a situation where you CAN'T LOSE. If you approach her and she GOES for you, you HAVE her.  And if you approach her and she DOESN'T go for you, you grow THAT MUCH STRONGER and THAT MUCH MORE FREE FROM FEAR, which will make you THAT MUCH MORE CHARISMATIC with the next woman.

You know how back in high school, every guy has some girl they're crazy about?

Well, I'm glad that I never got her, and that this process of rejection happened to me all through university as well- it turned me into a man who has been LIBERATED from all those fears, and it made me that much more charismatic and courageous to do the things that led to meeting women that were a billion times better.

And to meeting a woman that had been through all the same pain and was just as cool of a person, who never turned into a slave to fear, and into becoming a slave to the anger that is the child of fear.

What you have read here, as powerful at it is, is just scratching the surface compared to what you will learn in my book about becoming the man you were MEANT to be. In my book, "Get A Great Girl", you will get the FULL PICTURE of how to become the man that attracts a quality woman for life, and I suggest you get it IMMEDIATELY at:

Get A Great Girl Manual

Till next time,

Michael